Expressions

Random thoughts that ought to be added to my mental library of "Life is full of surprises".... without sounding preachy- Faith, in any form, is a humbling and profoundly enriching experience. Everyone should consider believing in something—anything—whether it’s an unknown higher power or a concept that transcends our understanding. It’s about discovering what resonates with you and learning how to tune into that frequency once you crack the code! I am still learning what that code is though :D Watching a sunset can help slow down the racing thoughts in your constantly hustling mind. However, it also opens a Pandora's box of life's difficult questions—what and why. Despite this, I would still recommend it 100%! :) The courage to do something boldly reckless—something that quickens your heartbeat—is one of the most life-altering experiences you can have! Somewhere, someone always appears out of nowhere when you least expect it, and it's rarely a pleasant surprise! :...

There is lot of struggle getting myself up from bed. Most of the time I lie back down and stare at the many jingling and colorful 'stuff' hanging from above.... its not always the case , the hanging things are only at one or two places. It is usually a white colored ceiling with circles and hexagons cut out. Other times I am rolled over facing down to the bed . This is a relief from seeing the jingling objects and the empty ceiling. Nonetheless, the starting down at the bed is not too exciting either. Unless there is a very colorful bed sheet spread across. I like to find and trace small patterns in that case.  I practice trying to get up from bed on my own but there is a lot of effort and I give up after a few moments. I am pulled into people's laps ever since I remember my existence. The enthusiasm and excitement on people's faces whenever they come close to me is remarkable. I feel I am the center of the house.  People make faces at me and I try to score them base...

I dont know who needs to read this but there is a distinct discomfort in putting up fan at a very high speed in summers ! Don't get me wrong, I do feel adequately hot when the sun is scorching. Its just the compensation of the dryness with excessive man made generated wind literally is abrasive to my skin. It is pleasant, I agree, but also has a certain degree of non-comfort to the skin. The soft fine hair on the skin feels like a wheat crop caught up in a tornado and struggling to stand ground. I especially feel cold in my feet at night; no matter which season and have to wear a light cover to protect my sensitive pores. Fan speed at 3 or even 4 are usually ambivalent - giving out pleasant breeze suitable for a perfect nap or slumber.   I have a friend who starts sweating at the mere mention of summers and sits up at night with fan speed 4 sweating profusely. Ironically she is from the heart of India where the temperatures sores upto 45 degrees or more without batting ...

Happiness seems like a myth...or more like a unicorn.... a moment its there and in the next poof!! You are sitting with your family content and feeling extremely grateful... glimpse of happiness and a couple of uniform tirades later, you are chasing the past through nostalgia or the future with wishful thinking. How does one end with this vicious circle always... you always think that happiness is a state of mind that WAS ...or will be...for me it mostly was. So I hear people saying to live in the moment, cherish every moment as it truly is and there lies eternal happiness. Haven't we heard, read this in thousands of books... a variation may be but with similar meaning? And yet unable to achieve such a simple phenomena for more than a couple of times. It is hard , extremely hard to be in that meditative state of mind that attracts only the bliss, sees and feels only the goods. You understand this but yet unable to live it through. Yeah, some of you may mark me as a cynic... w...

Life teaches you a lot of things in retrospect..... your daily commute by bus, train, taxi or drive, your evening strolls in the neighborhood, stories from your house helps, your lunch time conversations with colleagues and just generally observing a person long enough gives you insights.  Okay so I am not encouraging you to stalk ... may be a slight tinted suggestion..but it does give a perspective on life...especially if its diametrically opposite from yours! One of these regular post lunch walks inside the office parking lot opened up a whole new level of discussion. I happened to peel another layer of life privy to select few and understand the hardships and tribulations people have gone through while living in this city of dreams. One of my friends gave a visual description of the 1 RK she, her immediate and extended family of 15 lived for most part of her childhood. Eventually the family moved out to a separate 1 bhk government quarters and children got educated just fi...

This morning I had a revelation ...again... ( I don't know how or why this frequency of wonder and gratitude has increased drastically in the past few months...probably my guardian angel has finally woken up from sleep :) ) I get coaxed a lot to meditate before going to bed...concentrate on breathing...focus on a singular thought...imagine a reverie... all this to reduce stress...get peace of mind ...blah blah and things like that....and me reacting like when you are forced to drink turmeric milk on sick days ! But this fine morning, my senses got better of me and I groggily agreed to do some deep breathing and just how beautifully this act turned out for me! I got up, opened my window pane wide and braced the early day breeze. So basically, I wake up to a view like this every day - which is not bad at all of course and the amount and intensity of air I get is paramount...I wish I could wake up early and store all the fresh unadulterated oxygen in a tank and use it in ...

Do you recall the times when you sat peacefully after completing all the household chores on a Sunday and suddenly the rain starts pouring in the eastward wind direction and you realize you forgot to close the windows of the bedroom and water has already started seeping on the bed and the side table and the floor! Or the times when the maid is off duty and you have cleaned the floor and you get up and realize your child has urinated near the low seated mattress and the book shelf from which she is conveniently throwing books into the puddle! or the times when you are rushing to the kitchen to get something off the shelf and in a hurry you drop a glass bowl ...bravo! You have successfully mastered the art of adding unnecessary work to life...endless chores! zero productivity! no satisfaction! And this incessant feeling mounting up your throats which when released is an under-exaggerated shriek. Welcome to the world of highly volcanic obsessive freaks....or more conveniently called ni...

I had a revelation this afternoon...While I was rocking my 2 month old baby to sleep in my arms, I had this sudden rush of joy ..... feeling what I was feeling at the moment, bearing down the 5 kg weight of my child and immeasurable weight of my aspirations. My mind drifted back to 15-16 years ago, when in my adolescence I used to wonder what life had in store for me? How was it going to turn out? Back in those days, I used to imagine details about my future life and tried to create vivid scenes in my mind about the specifics...How will I look? What kind of job would I do? The kind of people I would befriend. Where and how will I travel ? Of course, you would have guessed, all these details will come with a certain level of smugness and audacity ...I am a so called introvert and therefore I did like to believe that I evolved as a very outgoing, extrovert and super friendly kind of person in the coming future (early and mid 20s)...one whose popularity tops the chart in social circles...

Life takes a splendid turn An angel for which we yearned Innocence has found a new face Mischief is about to grace Little nose like buttery bun Eyes like 2 dollops of sun Tiny hands tiny feet You will make our family complete Strange are the ways of the world attached to the unborn curled Fill our lives with joy and light Your smile will be our delight I wonder which came first The body, soul or innocuous heart since you are a part of me that grows How much of me you already know? Just like your primitive cell A fragment of my soul also dwells? However you come about to us You be the darling, sweetheart our precious Kindle us with warmth and love And gratitude to the supreme above!

The thrill of decorating a new home is like painting an empty canvas. I had numerous visits to the furniture stores in that month. We had to fit in pieces of dining table, beds, wardrobes and sofa-sets to convert our flat to livable space. And I was so excited. Shopping for furniture means choosing a long term partner for your house. Different shapes and sizes of sofa sets were talking to me through the shop windows. A shining black leather recliner winking at me from a distance and alluring me to take him home. A covered cloth sofa sets in bright summer colors offering a competition to palette. They even adorned flashy and digitally printed cushion covers with ditsy celebrity faces or artistic Buddha pictures to add to the glamour. I was attracted to one of such bright blue fabric sofas. Italian making. While I was engrossed in feeling the fabric of this newly found gem, my husband on the other hand spotted a meek wooden sofa in the corner. In the world of modern architectur...

As a daughter in law there are numerous expectations and responsibilities reserved for you at your in laws' place. In my personal case, my husband's family stay in a quaint town of Palampur untouched by the metro life under the foot hills of Himalayas in Himachal Pradesh. And as I had decided to voluntarily take a break from my usual job grind, a grand opportunity of staying with  my in laws for a period of 20 days lay ahead. A first of its kind of experience for me in my marriage of 2 years, I reluctantly grabbed it with hope and anticipation, since I had received mixed reviews from my friends who had vivid stories to tell from their In-Laws' visit, some not so very pleasant. So I also had my share of things to experience when visiting in-laws. Here is a brief of the tits and bits of what I learnt and experienced from this memorable trip - 1. When you stay at someone else's house (well technically it was mine, but I was visiting for holidays), there is a huge contra...

I'm a loner and I don't like going out alone. I would look for the comfort of a friend's company to keep me distracted throughout so that I can giggle in between, have a safe umbrella of being with someone to talk to and not look around lost and return home safely.   Just to keep you on the same page, I am loudly talking about going out alone apart from work. I go to work daily by driving my car, interact with colleagues, and have a healthy number of friends and an amazing husband.  I like to think of myself as an independent working woman who is adequately funny and cheerful, has an average Indian lethargy within, like most people, is a jack of all trades and master of none; I like to try multiple things with more interest than passion and would like to believe that I'm still discovering the real kick in life.  Out of my many silly troubles in life, the current major point of concern is that I need a good company for shopping, movies, beaches, local streets a...

It’s been 4 days since I've left the very satisfyingly paying job of 7 years. And why? You may ask. And my whimsical answer is to set foot on an unexplored land of my fantasies.  I took this step with a lot of fear and anxiety but bundles of hope in my heart too.  I've been receiving a lot of flak for this decision and my steps have been faltering at the periphery itself. I wonder if I really have taken a wise decision after all! I have been lazing around mostly since the past 40-50 hours and have done little contribution to fuel my fire of interest. And I certainly wonder what have I lost for this freedom of nonchalance. I most certainly miss driving my favourite vehicle to office and back home; trying to dodge the traffic and edgily overtaking other cars from any available side of the lane, cursing the slowly moving ones on the right most lanes. I miss the Mumbai radio tuning into latest songs and sometimes just listening to the sounds of the wheels creating fricti...

I got up from my office desk with a mild throbbing and mind juggling to find the fix for the defect I was working on ..... Muttering to myself , lines on my forehead, avoiding eye contacts with passer by colleagues , I dodged my way to the washroom pretending to check the endless and meaningless FB newsfeed.....and ofcourse occasionally sighing to a distant acquaintance's exotic holiday pictures ! Ugh ...Sigh !!!!  Social media  is entering into our lives with a small pouch of depression hidden under its sleeve....Under the pretense of connecting with the lost forgotten contacts ( whom we would never have struggled to dial in or email or stay in touch otherwise coz we simply do not care !), it is giving us a paradigm to judge ourselves on the popularity scale, to induce jealousy and frustration slowly and steadily (oh ...She got a promotion/ What an exotic location he is holidaying in / how pretty her dress is/how much fun they seem to be having in the deliberate crazy poses...

It was a cold day.....she wondered if it was due to drizzling or because she was so sensitive to cold as pointed out by her friends.  She always craved for a rewind button in her life....one which took her back to college....well wait a minute....no back to school....particularly to class 5. Reflecting back she now wanted to live her life once again rewriting it in a new fashion....the one which she would fondly remember.....she had too many regrets in her life! She wondered if she was unique or everybody went through the same in their quarter life crises. Class 5 was fun.....She was a good student in school.....and she made some real good friends.....School plays where she sported a moustache and an gold color laced jacket borrowed from her brother  for role of a greedy elder young man, 100 m race where she came first in the girls and secured a second position in the whole lot attributed to her long legs, SUPW assignments where she decorated a cricket rubber ball with...

Does it happens sometimes that you feel good for no specific reason.....everything around is so positive and cheerful and full of life.??? I'm sure it does for many and....I was lucky enough to feel that today ! It was almost like in a typical movie...heroine waking up in the morning with a lazy smile and full stretch :) I just felt good about myself , my life , friends, family ....everything.....I saw a movie with my room mates - Band bajaa baraat....awesome movie....after that we all went into trans for long.....and discussed about typical marriage ceremonial differences of north and south.....Each one of us was very visibly getting hazy about how our marriages would turn out....how are the rituals going to be? Would we impress our in-laws...ha ha .It was so much fun I read "Breathless in Bombay" book for the rest of my afternoon....and in the evening an Office friend called asking me to go out with her.....we considered our options of going out...either watching a...

Yup...... i had a chat with a friend few days back.....who explained me this great theory of excuse for all my 'should i do it stuff',' not doing stuff', 'don't want to do stuff' etc type of things.....and she said its natural (relief!!)......With age comes great confusion.....extra responsibility....more Ick factor..... loss of control over life ....and total chaos !!!! So I guess I'm just being humanly natural following this one !!! I suddenly have a mood change from a cozy get up from bed to wondering "why do i have to work?" till I reach the stage of brushing my teeth .......and "Is this really I want of life?" till I'm hanging on one of the handles in the bus....."34##$^#$#@*" "??????" "!!!!!" the rest of the day.......... and "life's like that sigh" till I'm back to my lappy and watching friends happily :P

When I first landed in pune ......... life was so good........almost all of my hostel friends made their way to this city one by one .....and it was party time :P.........and now ...... the sooner they came to celebrate our second get together type of stuff.... the faster they were thrown to different parts of the country once again !!! (sigh) Its just so difficult to be without friends again......I was wondering how'd life would be after few years down the line after the nuptial knots.....the ppl with whom I've shared every emotion, little spaces in the hostel rooms,eaten from each other's plates, fought for sunday hostel feast sweets,talked about random stuff for endless hours(to the extreme of discussing shapes of clouds too) and what not !!! ...... in future privacy wouldn't be an alien term....wud have to check the time once calling a buddy....and most of all , wud have to mark our calenders to meet !!! life's really strange :(

Wish i could capture time and hold it in a bottle..........i would freeze it with blink of an eye.....would make time run like a madman......rewind , forward.......sloww, fasssst....aaaaah !!!!!! but alas i know its just a day dream and currently imagining this I'm smiling with mouth open....eyes gazing up in the sky .....and suddenly the shape of my mouth changes and i return back to my normal irritated sad face. :( Life's been throwing me the same question since years with its patient now running out ........and i'm completely lost figuring the statement still. Yes yes yes we should be born with map in hands..... we should be pampered, protected, cared , fought for, sought for..........No matter how much we try to be independent and bold and smart.....inside its a hollow heart craving for some soul to take over............ to just know that somebody is there and aahhh you needn't worry .....but how does one decide that this somebody will stay forever......how doe...

Life's on a new turn now ....... one year since i left this space unattended.......... and whew wat an year it was !!!!! I just learned i somehow aged :O I was talking to my friend few days back and she stated "You know wat amrita........ I finished my college 2 months back and suddenly i feel a sense of responsibility ..... strange naa?" My other friend explained me all this with wat is known as the twenty something dilemma......... things are heavier....... relationships are more important........ duties are more prominent.......... and u are more confused !!!!!!! ........ now i know how people's lives change after 21 !!!!! Am i depressing again ???????/ sorry yaar...... i just can't help being philosophical yaar !! :D Well this year has given me much more trips and adventures than i expected...... some of my close buddies became more closer :) and relationships have made me realize their importance !!! wowo............ nothing more....