Expressions

Wondering what to write about is a great source to experience blank space and void. I have been finding no inspirations, no shower ideas or eureka moments since the longest time. Probably because I have stopped writing. I have read several articles about how one should write everyday for at least half an hour to keep the creative juices flowing and so here I am trying to do that from precisely 2 days. This is my second day and I feel I am just blabbering around. lets see where it takes me. Life in quarantine is not hard at all, especially if you are staying at a friends' place and the onus of the household chores is divided among 4 people. Its just a little boredom seeping in here and there from time to time and melancholy trying to make room every now and then. They are looking for fine cracks in a flimsily built wall of excitement and enthusiasm , always creeping in the background; waiting patiently for one moment where it can take a peek first and then slowly spread across th...

There is lot of struggle getting myself up from bed. Most of the time I lie back down and stare at the many jingling and colorful 'stuff' hanging from above.... its not always the case , the hanging things are only at one or two places. It is usually a white colored ceiling with circles and hexagons cut out. Other times I am rolled over facing down to the bed . This is a relief from seeing the jingling objects and the empty ceiling. Nonetheless, the starting down at the bed is not too exciting either. Unless there is a very colorful bed sheet spread across. I like to find and trace small patterns in that case.  I practice trying to get up from bed on my own but there is a lot of effort and I give up after a few moments. I am pulled into people's laps ever since I remember my existence. The enthusiasm and excitement on people's faces whenever they come close to me is remarkable. I feel I am the center of the house.  People make faces at me and I try to score them base...

I dont know who needs to read this but there is a distinct discomfort in putting up fan at a very high speed in summers ! Don't get me wrong, I do feel adequately hot when the sun is scorching. Its just the compensation of the dryness with excessive man made generated wind literally is abrasive to my skin. It is pleasant, I agree, but also has a certain degree of non-comfort to the skin. The soft fine hair on the skin feels like a wheat crop caught up in a tornado and struggling to stand ground. I especially feel cold in my feet at night; no matter which season and have to wear a light cover to protect my sensitive pores. Fan speed at 3 or even 4 are usually ambivalent - giving out pleasant breeze suitable for a perfect nap or slumber.   I have a friend who starts sweating at the mere mention of summers and sits up at night with fan speed 4 sweating profusely. Ironically she is from the heart of India where the temperatures sores upto 45 degrees or more without batting ...

I'm a loner and I don't like going out alone. I would look for the comfort of a friend's company to keep me distracted throughout so that I can giggle in between, have a safe umbrella of being with someone to talk to and not look around lost and return home safely.   Just to keep you on the same page, I am loudly talking about going out alone apart from work. I go to work daily by driving my car, interact with colleagues, and have a healthy number of friends and an amazing husband.  I like to think of myself as an independent working woman who is adequately funny and cheerful, has an average Indian lethargy within, like most people, is a jack of all trades and master of none; I like to try multiple things with more interest than passion and would like to believe that I'm still discovering the real kick in life.  Out of my many silly troubles in life, the current major point of concern is that I need a good company for shopping, movies, beaches, local streets a...

It’s been 4 days since I've left the very satisfyingly paying job of 7 years. And why? You may ask. And my whimsical answer is to set foot on an unexplored land of my fantasies.  I took this step with a lot of fear and anxiety but bundles of hope in my heart too.  I've been receiving a lot of flak for this decision and my steps have been faltering at the periphery itself. I wonder if I really have taken a wise decision after all! I have been lazing around mostly since the past 40-50 hours and have done little contribution to fuel my fire of interest. And I certainly wonder what have I lost for this freedom of nonchalance. I most certainly miss driving my favourite vehicle to office and back home; trying to dodge the traffic and edgily overtaking other cars from any available side of the lane, cursing the slowly moving ones on the right most lanes. I miss the Mumbai radio tuning into latest songs and sometimes just listening to the sounds of the wheels creating fricti...

I'm not an ardent fan of cosmetic products and don't usually have clear favorites.... I've seen some of my friends speaking in a totally alien language - "Oh I m just into Colorbar....!" "I can't do without a Chambor !!"  and I pick some fresh aloe gel back from the garden :D (well my skin is not perfect either still :D) .  Perfect skin is every girl's dream. If not natural, then atleast for the image. And if with least chemical impacts, then God bless the product ! The fact is that we are living in the society of spic and speck public image where our dresses must always be fashionable, our shoes adorable, our hair shiny and glossy and skin radiant ! So while I am contemplating this, someone just gave me an instant solution to the last of my public image checklist... I was invited to an exciting event where I got introduced to the Fair and Lovely new beauty product - BB cream. And it was a lot worthwhile ! This beauty product serves mult...

One of the unusual days when my mind was a little uncluttered…I was wondering about some most lamest discussions of all times, one which has been on the top list of the girls while filtering out from the prospective bf list. I was thrilled to pour in some of my own for the cause. Love You know what ! 1. You can feel butterflies in your stomach when you are about to meet Not butterflies but yes some sort of chemicals running down from your brain to the exclusive parts of your body which would give you an equal amount of you know what 1. You can whisper sweet nothings and go back to sleep hugging a teddy bear These type would be the most sound sleepers as they have a lot to dream about 2. Its enjoyable planning surprises and buying gifts for him/her  Yeah ! too much brain work to plan  surprises when u can be alone 3. You can smile sheepishly , loose yourself in thoughts and even chuc...

yes ! I should have seen it long time back....probably in 2001 itself and took part in all the discussions i came across on net , infy BB.....but better late than never.....so here it goes... Lord of the rings - Fellowship of the ring The characters in the movie are numerous with additional mention of some random jumbled words - nuzbul, dum,goblins, orcs, barad-dur.....etc add up to my confusion......Its a huge glossary in itself ! I'd a tough time during the movie recollecting the names of the ppl (not really ppl) as and when they were appearing on the lappy screen.....oh this is pippin (the young jumpy hobbit), and this is Gollum (the ugly monkey like creature),Gimli (bearded and over clothed Dwarf...have seen him in some other movie too) , orcs(horrendous looking men like creatures who are all evil and ruined and terrible form of life as stated in the movie itself) and many more..... The basic storyline is that there's one ring made by the evil Sauron(the dark lord...

The idea of switching to organic might bring some twitching in the fingers and mind. Its just so uncomfortable thought of giving up not so health oriented life we are currently leading. But as and on one learns about organic, one would realize how easy it is to bring some focus to your health. A few days ago, I was chatting casually with a friend and this topic came up. "Do you even realize how much quantity of pesticides (ok leftover) do we consume each day along with our daily diet of daal/chawal/roti/sabzi" I was animatedly blabbering......he stopped eating for a moment, looked at me blankly and said "Chill this is what everybody does, plus nobody would never realize if you never uttered a word about it" and resumed his eating gladly. It came upon me that people would need to be shaken, told over again and again about how can their lives change with the organic products. This is an amateur effort to start with. The blog is dedicated to supporting an organic l...

I'd been wondering about this since this opened up and every time I opened "new post" in my blog and wanted my fingers to come up with some beautiful sentences, I failed miserably and I silently signed out each time. I doubted if I ever could pen down what real beauty is . I should have known that I was a fool to think if I would ever be able to describe real beauty because its much more than what ever could be felt about, touched, seen, expressed, written, admired….its so much more than perspective of a single person. A pregnant lady is beautiful cause she’s carrying a new life inside her, nourishing her, protecting her and attempting to make her one of her own kind. An average poor lady working on roads, industries, mines is equally beautiful cause she is so courageously facing the world and earning her own livelihood and probably also for her family. She is independent and bold and free from all worldly double faced malice which makes her unique in her own sense....

Does it happens sometimes that you feel good for no specific reason.....everything around is so positive and cheerful and full of life.??? I'm sure it does for many and....I was lucky enough to feel that today ! It was almost like in a typical movie...heroine waking up in the morning with a lazy smile and full stretch :) I just felt good about myself , my life , friends, family ....everything.....I saw a movie with my room mates - Band bajaa baraat....awesome movie....after that we all went into trans for long.....and discussed about typical marriage ceremonial differences of north and south.....Each one of us was very visibly getting hazy about how our marriages would turn out....how are the rituals going to be? Would we impress our in-laws...ha ha .It was so much fun I read "Breathless in Bombay" book for the rest of my afternoon....and in the evening an Office friend called asking me to go out with her.....we considered our options of going out...either watching a...

The mind plays very strange games with us….. Its happy when you get something you wanted to for long…. Its sad when it doesn’t…. Its happy when others are happy but not when the other’s happiness cuts up yours even though the other person is close to you…. Its sad for other’s sadness but never too long….the moment you have others things floating in your mind , it very happily engrosses us in the routine life…. Its also sad when you pretended in front of everybody that you are really not expecting anything out of some situation and are perfectly fine with every thing and it turns out the other way…. Its happy for trivial things and also sad for the same... It makes us experience such mix of emotions ….despair, sadness, delight,euphoria…...its really incomprehensible….and when it’s a moody one….lord save us ! Some deep scientific type of a guy would like to tell me that its all about the hormones and all that tech stuff….but my mind would like to believe otherwise….or is the heart I am t...

Here I am.....after a long time....on continous pestering from a very dear friend......I decided to come back to some finger excercises ! but what type.....which keystrokes to press....and what memories to register ....I'm completely lost!!! The past year was stupendously happening..(I know it doesn't go here....but i want you to feel the emotion)...my life was like on a stage and went through full on drama....i was all over and i reincarnated........i guess thats an understatement !!! I did everything which i suppose I should have been doing in my college life..........i got young and developed white streaks too.....i got wild and turned sober....i was fragile and at the same time i was cruelly harsh.....i forgave and tried to to forget......i lived ecstasy and somethings inside me died every moment.....In all a rush of emotions.......and the feeling i have right now is unnamed !!!

(21/07/2008):(2:39 PM): The emptiness of thoughts and mind and heart and body and soul......... phew it happened rarely.......... but quite recently this is what i m going through....... a few of my friends commented that my blogs have a sad under tone......... yeah may be ......... that'll pass sooner than later.......... I have been asked by many people mostly old classmates........ "so any bf?" ........... how easily ppl try to intrigue into somebody else's personal lives ........ without even realizing that it is seriously none of their business......... and i have discovered this is what every guy would ask u after some pep conversation ...... just to make sure that "okay lets give it a try" Poor lads !!! What a pity :)

GTalk is an amazing thing (few yrs earlier i wud have given the credit to yahoo messenger) ......lets see the record of my past few days............. well I went for a movie at the first multiplex in my city after lots of prepone and postponements of dates ........... I clarified misunderstanding with a coll friend after 2 days of diplomatic and around the bush chats on gtalk........ got reprimanding for such a depressing blog with a sad undertone and silly topics from quite a lot unexpected friends [:(]..........caught up with an old friend about the "rights" of our life [:P]...........met a critic of my writing and clicking skills..........dared to buzz even those ppl i never ever spoke more than a "hi" once and whew talked for about more than 15 min to a few (thats good Amee)....... This medium is an open and guiltless means of conversation to even the unknowns coz it offers the flexibility of being the unknown........ switching to invisible ............and ofc...

hmnnn.......no i am not going to bore u with a list of my stupid habits (which did or did not) ..... was just wondering abt some stuff done unknowingly like its always about the right leg ..... be it wearing socks or putting ur feet first........or closing our eyes while sneezing (oh well thats natural)...... or always reading on the bed ......... or even more stupids u can think of ......... ahhh forget it !!! . . . am i still sane................ :(

"मन भारी है ४० सेर से भी कहीं ज्यादा मन जो भागता प्र्काश से भी कहीं ज्यादा आज थम गया है पोखर के पानी से भी कहीं ज्यादा मन उदास है उदासी से भी कहीं ज्यादा ।" Very true words describing my state of mind....... not by me of course!!!

My present engagement.......... testimonials ........ yes ........ to all the people who are close to my heart / have made a difference to my life / and the ones i miss often :( so trying to be as emotional as i can (rationally of course) ...... and to portray that in words is too difficult ....... but yes it helps me overcome an emotional block and grudges........ Mood : emotional Music : Zindagi ke safar mein ( kishore kumar)