Do I miss office?

It’s been 4 days since I've left the very satisfyingly paying job of 7 years. And why? You may ask. And my whimsical answer is to set foot on an unexplored land of my fantasies.  I took this step with a lot of fear and anxiety but bundles of hope in my heart too.  I've been receiving a lot of flak for this decision and my steps have been faltering at the periphery itself. I wonder if I really have taken a wise decision after all!

I have been lazing around mostly since the past 40-50 hours and have done little contribution to fuel my fire of interest. And I certainly wonder what have I lost for this freedom of nonchalance.

I most certainly miss driving my favourite vehicle to office and back home; trying to dodge the traffic and edgily overtaking other cars from any available side of the lane, cursing the slowly moving ones on the right most lanes. I miss the Mumbai radio tuning into latest songs and sometimes just listening to the sounds of the wheels creating friction with the bumpy road. It is by far the most soothing experience of driving in Mumbai.

I miss my workstation where I quenched my thirst for random knowledge whenever I could spare some time off work; searching on various topics under sun, Google helps a lot! Somehow I can't find the same motivation in my home now with freely available internet and all unblocked sites unlike the company's restricted access. I guess this is Murphy's Law of lazy spirit. We tend to do only what entices us against the norm and only if it is restricted. If it’s open, we won't buzz a fly! True story.

I miss my colleagues and just illogical and hilarious tea and lunch break conversations which could extend to non working guilt free hours. I miss my work and internally boast with myself of finding the most comfortable way of handling it. I miss my total engrossment in some silly technical issue and feeling of exhilaration on solution which I had to contain within owing to office premises.

I certainly miss all the wonderful things that come along with the regular committed work and the perks and monthly financial security it gives me primarily.

Today, I have no such commitments and I want to enjoy the luxury of not getting up early and hurrying for office, not attending any meetings for endless hours and no fruitful results. Even though I can relax around, my heart wants to start on what I had dreamed for years. I wish to write some amazing stories, some exotic travel experiences and some random personal interventions. I wish to explore the art of photography and capture some of the most thought provoking, simple yet powerful images out of the ordinary. I wish to study, to read, to serve, to spend unforgettable hours trying to learn something new and how I wish I sustain myself without any support doing what I think I would love. It’s a blind bet and may God give me the strength to take that chance. Amen!


Comments

Having taken the decision, you should give it a fair chance.Do not laze around.Get up at the same time when you went to office.Put alarms every one hour to ensure you are doing productive work & contribution to your various interests.Do not give up on discipline and you should do well. Wish you all the best!
Ananya said…
I totally understand what you are going through ... I was there 2 years ago..kinda of still that debate once a while..
Choosing passion over a good full time paying job is reallly hard.. hang in there ..it will get better
Amrita Sharma said…
Thank you Rajeev, Ankur and Ananya for the motivation. Means a lot!
jessedavis said…
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