Expressions

Yup...... i had a chat with a friend few days back.....who explained me this great theory of excuse for all my 'should i do it stuff',' not doing stuff', 'don't want to do stuff' etc type of things.....and she said its natural (relief!!)......With age comes great confusion.....extra responsibility....more Ick factor..... loss of control over life ....and total chaos !!!! So I guess I'm just being humanly natural following this one !!! I suddenly have a mood change from a cozy get up from bed to wondering "why do i have to work?" till I reach the stage of brushing my teeth .......and "Is this really I want of life?" till I'm hanging on one of the handles in the bus....."34##$^#$#@*" "??????" "!!!!!" the rest of the day.......... and "life's like that sigh" till I'm back to my lappy and watching friends happily :P

When I first landed in pune ......... life was so good........almost all of my hostel friends made their way to this city one by one .....and it was party time :P.........and now ...... the sooner they came to celebrate our second get together type of stuff.... the faster they were thrown to different parts of the country once again !!! (sigh) Its just so difficult to be without friends again......I was wondering how'd life would be after few years down the line after the nuptial knots.....the ppl with whom I've shared every emotion, little spaces in the hostel rooms,eaten from each other's plates, fought for sunday hostel feast sweets,talked about random stuff for endless hours(to the extreme of discussing shapes of clouds too) and what not !!! ...... in future privacy wouldn't be an alien term....wud have to check the time once calling a buddy....and most of all , wud have to mark our calenders to meet !!! life's really strange :(

Here i go again.....I'd been in a state of "non-working"(if there's a term like that, demotivating (or was it un-motivating!)....see i was just like that...lost !!! I always used to tell my friend that I'd do this that, blah, blah.....if only I had time!!! and I got a return appropriate bashing that I was not am eminent personality to be stuck with some nuclear deal type of affairs to start something new....So finally I forced myself out of bed and computer games on a cozy saturday afternoon...went to a near by government school...where some of the like minded ppl gathered every weekend to teach children ! It was hell lot of fun....I was feeling awkward at the thought of how wil I teach and wat good knowledge I could probably impart the innocent souls....but the children themselves made my task easier .....they came up to me running, eyes beaming with naughtiness and hands eager to write "A B C D"...I was just much more happier to be able to do something...

The past week was a memorable one………I sang, danced, saw ppll fight, shout and yell at each other, gossip, and bitch about each other , got dressed up and had fun ! These are how Indian marriages go about …. The day I landed in my hometown….I ran to my Nani’s place . Everyone had gathered for our dear, little kid of the family ‘Choti’s’ wedding !! All the rooms were full…The TV room had been occupied by all the male members of the extended families who were mostly silent until and unless involved in very engrossing discussions about petrol prices, new government in Bihar, religion , public departments and every stuff under the sun remotely related to the occasion for which they had been cordially invited. The middle room had all the ladies and their vocal chords working at maximum capacity , chattering and gossiping , working together in the kitchen, showing off their latest assets and creating a perfect environment for all the gossip mongers of the house. The other room was f...

Finally so much noise and show-shah for the Mr. and Mrs. Black President from the proclaimed white nation arriving to the humble wheatish country has paid off. I've been listening and reading about it since long....long enough not to mark anything to memory. But thanks to the media, this was always topping the charts and still is. After Obama left the Indian soil, the media got back to work producing articles and analysis of the Obama's visit on daily basis. I was amazed to read each one of them and just wondered if I could manufacture something of the same genre. The US president has a very well defined strategy planned to strengthen its ties with every other country it can possibly gets strings attached with. After the recent polls, the democrats surely have reasons to worry.Of course, India is at the top priority with so much happening with us at this quarter of the century.We are into nuclear power, IT, imports - exports, education, research....you name it and...

Wish i could capture time and hold it in a bottle..........i would freeze it with blink of an eye.....would make time run like a madman......rewind , forward.......sloww, fasssst....aaaaah !!!!!! but alas i know its just a day dream and currently imagining this I'm smiling with mouth open....eyes gazing up in the sky .....and suddenly the shape of my mouth changes and i return back to my normal irritated sad face. :( Life's been throwing me the same question since years with its patient now running out ........and i'm completely lost figuring the statement still. Yes yes yes we should be born with map in hands..... we should be pampered, protected, cared , fought for, sought for..........No matter how much we try to be independent and bold and smart.....inside its a hollow heart craving for some soul to take over............ to just know that somebody is there and aahhh you needn't worry .....but how does one decide that this somebody will stay forever......how doe...

Here I am.....after a long time....on continous pestering from a very dear friend......I decided to come back to some finger excercises ! but what type.....which keystrokes to press....and what memories to register ....I'm completely lost!!! The past year was stupendously happening..(I know it doesn't go here....but i want you to feel the emotion)...my life was like on a stage and went through full on drama....i was all over and i reincarnated........i guess thats an understatement !!! I did everything which i suppose I should have been doing in my college life..........i got young and developed white streaks too.....i got wild and turned sober....i was fragile and at the same time i was cruelly harsh.....i forgave and tried to to forget......i lived ecstasy and somethings inside me died every moment.....In all a rush of emotions.......and the feeling i have right now is unnamed !!!

(21/07/2008):(2:39 PM): The emptiness of thoughts and mind and heart and body and soul......... phew it happened rarely.......... but quite recently this is what i m going through....... a few of my friends commented that my blogs have a sad under tone......... yeah may be ......... that'll pass sooner than later.......... I have been asked by many people mostly old classmates........ "so any bf?" ........... how easily ppl try to intrigue into somebody else's personal lives ........ without even realizing that it is seriously none of their business......... and i have discovered this is what every guy would ask u after some pep conversation ...... just to make sure that "okay lets give it a try" Poor lads !!! What a pity :)